...Strange feelings which I feel and U understand...
Yesterday after 9 pm took my bike out on the empty roads to feel the cool breeze in my hair. as I drove the freshness in the air and the drizzle on my face made me feel your presence. you were there, when the cool air tickled me, you were there listening to my giggles.
Circled around a garden trying to circle out the thoughts which were making me want you but kinda failed. So I did not stop them, as u suggested. When thinking goes beyond you should let them flow out of you system. if we try to build a dam the water might just get stagnant.
So what i thought about, i thought of you being there with me on my bike we riding a really long way on the Mumbai streets. then it drizzles we fool around with each other. you tickle me while i maintain the bike's balance. it start to pour down suddenly so we halt down below a huge tree which appears from no where,as in its Mumbai it not like we are riding on country side road.
we run under its shelter. huffing puffing we wait there. suddenly you demand coffee... i say its a tea climate. you grin, asked me to wait while you get it and disappear in the dark. impatiently i wait. watch the rain dancing on my fingers. my mind paying romantic songs.
suddenly the background score turns into honking of terrible car horns which snapped me out to realize that i was not under the tree but still on the road with the signal flashing green, which indicated me to move on. i did. as i started the bike i moved out of the tree shelter, Knowing what i know, feeling what i felt, i returned home.
Sleepless on the bed i tried to complete the thought i had. i wanted to know where my imagination could take. actually i wanted to know if my mind can take me to you again. cause that is the only way i can connect to you. that is the only way you are with me always even though you are not. Topsy turvy i dozed off.
when i got up, obviously late, i searched for you around the house. you were there for me, i felt. again mind playing the nostalgic games. i chucked the thoughts and got ready for work.
came at work, still feeling lil weird, lil happy, lil like missing you, lil like calling you, lil like telling u im home come home, lil like meeting u just to return ur dairy, lil like meeting u to hug u, lil like meeting u to tell u i cant stop thinking about u, lil like meeting u and yelling to u that i love you, be mine.
but i cant do any of the things said, cause that is the right thing to do. that is the right thing to do. i have done plenty wrong ones this time this is the right thing to do.
handled my impatience till you called. why did you call? why do you call when i think of you? why do you have to understand whatever i feel? why do you have to listen to what i don't say even in my mind?
and you keep saying that i am mad, yes may be. hence deciding not to trouble you yet i trouble you by talking my mind out. But then i realize you are more crazy than what i am. more than me it isyou who have to do the right thing. handle a mad friend like me. having a friend like me is a tough job in itself.
and you are doing a good job. and you are happy with this job. so then i smile. you make me smile. the thoughts stop. the questioning stops. i learn that this is just something we have to do. so we will. at least in this we are together, together always.